Diary: Choccies fit for a Queen (Mother)

As I set to work on the screenplay for my notional joint biopic of squeaker George (né Gideon) Osborne and stammerer Ed Balls (working title: A Cock and Balls), I’m minded to avoid the accusations of inaccuracy that have been levelled at its inspiration, multi-Oscar nominee The King’s Speech. While Christopher Hitchens has warned that the film dodges the troublesome topic of Winston Churchill’s loyalty to Edward VIII, my sources have revealed an equally uncomfortable historical error. Nick Crean, chairman of Prestat hocolate and tcruffles, complains that, in the film, the late Queen Mother (played by Helena Bonham-Carter) and her husband George VI are seen eating marshmallow candies – in 1936. These particular confections were not available, Mr Crean insists, until the late 1940s. “Billy Tallon, the Queen Mother’s colourful steward, told me Her Majesty had a lifelong love of classic English rose and violet creams,” he explains. “They travelled everywhere with her.” And went down nicely with a gin and Dubonnet, I have no doubt.

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